Failing to Fail Properly – What I Did Not Learn While Trying to Run My Own Business

Hindsight is always perfect. I can tell you now, that I should have decided to scale down my business much earlier than when I actually did. I should have pursued more more lucrative business models than trying to stick to the one that was not working for me. Finding paying customers should have been my number one priority.

Why I Failed

Failing to manage my emotions was probably my number one reason for not being able to do what I should have done. Not managing my emotions well, put me under so much stress that unknown to myself I was setting myself up for failure just so I could reach the quitting stage sooner.

It took me a while and with lot of help from many authors and smart people, I realise that a lot of the actions that I should have taken to keep my business afloat and growing did not happen because I was emotionally disconnected from myself. I still am.

I am slowly starting get the awareness about how mismanaged my emotions are. How disconnected I am from my gut (as in gut feelings). My gut was probably screaming away to glory telling me the right thing to do, but I was so far away from it, that I squandered amazing opportunities listening to my thinking brain. I should have been keenly listening to my emotions.

I know now, the importance of emotional intelligence and I have pledged to become an active student of learning to learn all about my emotions.

Forgiveness and kindness

I know the path to my emotion recovery has to start with forgiveness and kindness. I need to forgive myself for failing in business. I need to be kind to myself and not punish myself for being an emotional zombie for most of my life.

The Way Ahead

The way ahead for my has to begin now. I will work with myself very closely to ensure that I can grow the bond between my actions and emotions. And That I can begin to slowly inch my way towards being a better person for my own sake.

Written on February 25, 2015